Counterfeit
by Terfluous
Summary: Under all the smiles and squeals and hype, is Etcetera really all she's cracked up to be? Or is there a deeper meaning for all this fangirling... I suck at summaries... This is my first official story, so please critique!
1. Chapter 1

The Rum Tum Tugger strutted around the yard in his typical fashion. I squealed in delight as he shoved his bum in my face, I let my brother Plato catch me. All the other kittens in Tugger's fan club think he is utterly the greatest thing to ever inhabit the earth but I am different...

...much, much different.

He tickled Jemima's chin with his spotted paw. She melted in front of him and it made me sick to watch. I can't STAND him. Tugger is a total pedophile, and makes every queen swoon just because he can shake his hips and over-sized mane around. I personally think he is revolting! I grooved to his music with Victoria, Jemima and Electra ... how foolish they were ... so foolish to be obsessed with him. I suppose at fist glance I look like his greatest fan? Well, you obviously don't know me, no one does. I act obsessed and stupid around him so nobody would suspect me. Nobody would suspect it to be the doing of his greatest fan ... a little, cute, adorable girl kitten at that. No one would suspect...

Victoria ran up to him and hugged his leg. Electra got jealous and pushed her way to his other leg. I saw the opportunity and scuttled between his legs before Jemima, who tried to squeeze in beside me but I wouldn't let her. She grabbed onto his tail. Tugger loves it when we are all over him, it makes him feel like he is Heavyside's gift to us all. We all swooned as he wiggled his mighty pelvis. When he hit a high note I screamed idiotically until he hushed me. After he managed to free himself of us Electra stalked up to me and said

"If you think your his greatest fan, I dare you to go up and squeeze his bum" and she put on the most pompous look I'd ever seen her do.

"Yeah! If you think your so obsessed!" Jemi chimed in and copied her face.

"OK!" I squealed. His bum? Great... but I would do more than just squeeze it, I always go over the expectations in dares. I ran up behind him and yanked his tail so he stumbled backwards, and in full view of the others I grabbed his leg and ran my tongue up the back of his thigh and his rear. Vicky and Jemi were giggling.

Tugger turned around and stared at me like_ What the hell?_ I don't think a kitten had licked his ass before. I smiled cutely at him, grabbed his paw and jumped up and down as if I was on a high. He smiled and gave me a small kiss on the cheek with those ghastly lips. I pretended to faint dramatically and they certainly bought it. Jemima slapped me trying to wake me up, Victoria poked my tongue back in my mouth and Electra tried to scoop his cooties off my cheek and dab them on her lips – Ew! I slowly brought my self around from fake unconsciousness and blinked. Even if I do say so myself, I can be a remarkable actor.

"Cety! He kissed you!" Jemi shook me with wide eyes

"I know" I said weakly

"What did it feel like?" Vicky tugged on my paw

"It felt like Christmas!" I grinned at them wide awake now. "You should have seen his face! Priceless!" I squealed in amusement. I can't wait for the day he realizes what I really want to do. That face will be priceless too...

The other kittens giggled and helped me up to my feet. I went home with Electra for the rest of the night and I squealed about it to mum. Electra and I were half sisters, our dad is Asparagus and we have different mums. Jennyanydots is her mum and Jellylorum is mine. Plato is my older brother, I think he's a jerk. All toms my age are jerks actually ... all except Admetus, he is the only gentle-tom kit in the yard. I have a giant crush on him and sadly for me just about everyone knows it. He is so funny and sweet, but he thinks I like that Tugger, and hangs out with Exotica. I wish I could tell him that he is first on my tom-list but that could blow my cover ... then I am doomed. I have to though, what if he became mates with Exotica? Then I would be left with the jerks...


	2. Chapter 2

It was a sunny morning - you don't see that very often this time of the year. I was looking for my friends when Tugger walked by aiming a smile at me, the sort of smile he always gives me when he and Bombalurina are having a domestic issue.

"Hey kitten" he stopped walking and stood with his paws in his belt. I grinned at him

"Hi Tuggy!" he moved closer to me, his stench was so strong I could suffocate

"Lets talk about yesterday" He raised one eyebrow

"What about yesterday?" I smiled.

"You know, you are the first kitten to ever do something like that" He moved even closer, still smiling. I felt sick and this conversation was getting more awkward by the second.

"So?" I put my paws on my hips as if it wasn't a big deal

"Well, I was wondering if you could tell me why you did that" he said. Smiling still, his eyes were expectant. He knew exactly why I would do that, he just wanted me to say it because it makes him feel irresistible.

"I don't know... ...because your the bestest in the world!" I grinned. If I told him it was a dare, I would be giving the others credit. He laughed

"Would you kiss me because I'm the 'bestest' in the world?" he held out his arms and my insides grumbled. Must I?

"SQUEEEEE!" I jumped up on him and he caught me in a firm grip, pressing me hard against his chest. I regretted it when he locked my lips ... I could taste the remainder of something rotten he'd probably fished out of a trash can, which meant Bomba must have thrown him out before dinner. Honestly, the things I do ... and to make matters worse, he is old enough to be my dad!

"I like you kitten" he smiled smugly, I was still clinging to him, grinning like a complete idiot. "Don't tell your friends I said that, or they'll be jealous" he looked me in the eyes

"I wont" I said sincerely, he put me down and strutted away. I ran off to find my friends.

Jemima, Electra and Victoria were sitting on the old car.

"GUESS WHAT!" I screamed at them jumping up and down as if I was having another fangirl 'episode'

"Tugger said he wants to be your mate" Electra said sarcastically, like could never happen

"No, but he let me kiss him on the lips!" I smiled so hard I strained my cheek muscles

"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, whatever" Jemi said looking bored, she fake yawned

"No! He really did! Don't believe me? You can ask him!" I put on an annoyed look. Victoria believed me, she always does...

"What did he taste like?" she asked with a glazed look over her eyes, like she was in love

"He tasted like Christmas! He smells like Christmas, he looks like Christmas, he tastes like Christmas, HE IS CHRISTMAS!" I jumped up and down again beaming. Really, if he was Christmas, I would kill myself. Victoria sighed and clasped her hands together by her heart, which formed a twinge of guilt in my heart. The other two started leaving.

"Where are you going?" I asked, annoyed that they wouldn't take me and Vicky with them

"To find Tugger" they didn't even look at us. I pulled Vicky along and followed them.

"Hey kittens" he smiled at us from a pile of old clothes, paws in belt as usual.

"Cety says you let her kiss you. Is it true?" Jemima eyeballed me, then looked back at him

"Yeah, so?" he smiled at me and I grinned back, but he was copying my _so what_ look and it annoyed me

"You don't let _me_ kiss you" Electra pouted, glaring at him like ice

"You don't love me like she does – she even licked my ass" He turned up his nose and wiggled his bum around ... yuck. The two of them glared at me.

"We dared her to!" they yelled

"Yeah but you didn't say to lick it!" Vicky yelled at them and they started arguing. I stood there remaining silent, our arguments were pointless and they never got any where. I looked at Tugger and sighed, trying to look mature. Electra just happened to look up at him as he was winking at me and she stopped, leaving the other two still screaming. She looked at Tugger, who was smiling at me, then at me who was grinning cutely - the way I always do when Tugger smiles at me, I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears.

"So" she huffed glaring at me "You got cosy with him behind our backs!" she yelled making the others stop and look. Tugger just sat there with a smug smile, watching Electra's laser gaze cut me in half.

"You didn't believe me when I told you all about it" I sort of cowered away from her, I hated it when she was bossy. She was only bossy because she wanted Tugger all to herself, and it was destroying our friendship. Tugger got amused by queen friendships breaking because of him. Cassandra, Bombalurina, Exotica and Tantomile used to be the best of friends until Tugger screwed it all up. They are now enemies with a passion. Now Tugger was trying to do it to us and it made me cry just thinking what life would be like without them. But Tugger is a persistent little welt and won't stop until we too hate each other. Only one thing could stop him...

"Are you listening to me?" Electra yelled in my face, and I jumped. She was shorter than me, which made her look a bit stupid.

"Run it by me again" I said

"See, you're so caught up in your stupid fantasies that you don't even bother listening you your own half sister!" she screamed and stormed off with Jemima who was flashing a dirty look over her shoulder. Victoria was sobbing on my shoulder. I looked at Tugger like _what the hell just happened?_ He just smirked and strutted off with his trademark 'swagger'. How dare that bastard think this was funny! I was about to go after him and break his nose when I remembered Vicky was still clinging to me, whimpering softly.


	3. Chapter 3

"What did she say?" I asked, putting my arms around her

"She said if if you or me even touch t-Tuggy then we are not going to be friends anymore" Victoria stuttered. What a little hellcat! I should just kill her instead. Vicky's throat had tied it's self in a knot and mine was about to do the same. I felt myself go red.

"Thats hardly fair!" I yelled, tears of anger in my eyes.

"Selfish bitch" Victoria sniveled and hugged me tight. I didn't know Vicky used that sort of language! It didn't suit her... she looked too innocent.

"Well, if they're going to be like that..." I trailed off, I can't bring myself to say it

"Then what?" she looked up at me and I screwed up my face

'Then they aren't worth being friends with anyway!" and burst into tears. We'd been friends all our lives! The frisky four... thats what all the adults called us. All those fun memories and silly dares and pranks we played on each other... you can't really do that with two. Vicky started crying again. Our friendship was the strongest of the strong, nothing could break it, until now. There was a long sad silence until Vicky broke it.

"Cety?" she said in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper

"Yeah?" I looked up at her

"Do you remember the time we faked that love letter from Pouncival to Jemima?" her throat came undone and she sounded happier.

"Yes! That was brilliant!" I giggled and she did too. "Do you remember the time when we painted your fur green while you were asleep?"

"Now that was annoying. Mum made me stand in the rain and I got a cold... Do you remember when we scraped yours and Admetus's names in a heart on that street lamp?"

"Yes... ...then he found out I liked him. It's still there" she looked at my wistful expression.

"You still like him don't you!" She grinned and I blushed

"Well-"

"Yes you do!" she grabbed my paw. Oh no.

Next thing I knew Victoria was dragging me off to Admetus, who was sitting on top of an empty crate. Vicky liked to play cupid because she absolutely adored love-stories. I gave a huge toothy smile as Vicky pulled me along. He smiled back and made room on the crate next to him for me to sit down.

"I uh, have to go... ...somewhere..." Vicky grinned and walked off. Oh come on!

"Hi!" I beamed sitting next to him.

"Hi Cety, in a good mood today?"

"Yup!" I grinned goofily, I can't help it when I'm around him!

"Good. I like it when you're happy, it makes me happy" Aw! He's so sweet! I feel like dancing, I always do when I'm happy. I jumped off the crate and grabbed his paws

"Lets dance!" I shook his arms and jumped up and down. I know I'm pathetic around toms I like but hey, its something to do.

"Its not night time though" he said, as if it mattered!

"So?" I grinned and he got off the crate and jumped around with me, leaping, turning... it was fun! He picked me up and twirled around, I put my arms out like an aeroplane.

"NEAAAAAWWWWR!" I giggled as he flew me around the yard. He laughed and put me down. We slumped on the ground, tired.

"Shouldn't you be looking for that retard Tugger?" he asked, expecting me to snap a defense. Well, it was now or never. I looked around the yard. We were alone.

"Can you keep a secret?" I whispered, still on the lookout incase anybody was spying. He nodded and his eyes asked me _why?_

"I'm not what you think I am" I whispered, he looked confused

"What do you mean?" he whispered

"I'm not Tugger's greatest fan. I HATE him"

"WHAT?" he hissed, trying to whisper but he was much too surprised.

"You can't tell a soul, it's just between you and me, got it?" he nodded still a bit confused

"Why do you pretend to like him then?"

"So no one would suspect..." ...me, it would be all _my_ doing, then I could be happy

"Suspect what?" he interrupted my thoughts and looked into my eyes. He would hate me if I told him.

"Nothing. Don't tell a soul!" I was about to leave him when he asked

"Why did you choose _me _to let in on your secret?" hmm... how do I put it?

"Just so you know" blushed and I grinned at him. He smiled and I ran off to find Vicky. Damn... ...he knows too much


	4. Chapter 4

I spotted Victoria, but I didn't want to ruin her moment. She was leaning casually against the old stove flirting with Plato, who appeared to have gone pink in the face. I really envy her, she could make any tom blush... well not Tugger, but apparently he is incapable of it. Jemima and Electra were on the other side of the clearing, chatting with Cassandra and Exotica about something. Everyone seemed to be engrossed in their own conversations or tasks at hand. So I decided that now was a great chance for me to find that thing that I over heard Mungojerrie talking about.

I skirted the edge of the yard to where I found the stack of old tractor tires - the ones with giant tread patterns in thick, awful smelling black rubber. It was getting dark now, and the street lamps over the other side of the near fence were flickering on one after another. I had to be fast, or else one of the patrolling toms might spot me and ask what I was doing... that would completely ruin my chance. I scaled the side of the tire pile, rather swiftly I thought. I sat at the top and looked down the center. Sure enough, the dirt had been dug up, just how he described it. I jumped down inside the stack, and pulled out a spoon from my step mother's den - one of the ones she lets her platoon of cockroaches use as a pretend rifle or whatever.

I stabbed it into the ground where the dirt was tender and soft from recent activity of the burying sort, and heard the muted 'clink' of metal hitting metal. Gee, they didn't hide it too far down did they? I kept removing the soil from the spot to reveal the object of my pursuit. It was bigger than I expected, but not too heavy for me to wield - thankfully. The long sharp edge had a bit of rust near the end too, a bonus! I smiled, examining the fine weapon in my hands... This is going to be so much fun.

I climbed back up the tires, swung my legs over the top and jumped off, carefully managing to keep the giant blade from slicing my foot off in the process. Bast! I quickly ducked behind an upturned chest of drawers and peered out. Alonzo was making his way along the top of the fence in my direction, but he didn't look as though he'd seen me. Good. He stopped, sniffed the air, and frowned. Crap. He can smell the freshly turned dirt, my knees were covered in it and I left the spoon where I was digging... And now he had jumped off the fence and was approaching.

My eyes darted, looking for a way out to avoid being noticed. I really wish my fur was a darker grey. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs as I grew desperate. I looked behind me and saw a tiny gap. I launched myself at it, squeezing through just in the nick of time, prize possession in tow. Unfortunately my relief didn't last too long. My tail had clipped a precariously stacked line of cooking pots, which wobbled and soon toppled over, making such a loud racket that my ears started ringing. I heard a loud yowl of pain come from the other side of the wall of junk, and decided to make a dash for it.

Once I'd secured a safe place inside my room for the 'thing' to dwell until use, I quickly went outside to dust myself off. I didn't realize how much dirt was caked on me until now... I'd never get rid of the stink! I looked around on the ground and spotted a relatively large puddle of mud. Unfortunately, it was in view of all the cats that were occupying the clearing. I shrugged. It would end up a good enough excuse, I supposed.

I ran out and pretended to slip, and fell dramatically in the puddle, eliciting a large splash of brown to crash over the surrounding earth. I popped my head up from my muddy face plant and spat some of it out. Honestly, the things I do...

"Jeepers creepers!" I exclaimed. I looked around and saw Jemima laughing. Mum was coming over to me, horrified.

"Etcetera!" She gave me that appalled expression that she usually gives me. "That is disgraceful!"

"Sorry mum... I didn't see it" I lied.

"Next time watch where you're going. Now get inside and get start running the bath!" She pointed to our den. I groaned.

"But-"

"The bath. Now" she ordered. I slowly stood up, and meandered inside hanging my head. Again - the things I do...

At least I'd managed to avoid the suspicion so far.


End file.
